L’inganno del tempo

I spent nearly 5 short years with her. She was everything to me. She’s right beside me in all of my memories, nearly all of them. She was my best friend. My lover. I never thought I would have to deal with this day, not this early in life. It’s so fucked up. I know that we had a rough break up and things went stale between us, but fuck, I really wish I would have gotten to say goodbye.

I’m so ashamed at myself for hanging up on her last week when she called me. If I would have known this would happen I would have spoken to her. I don’t even know what she wanted. I’ll never know, now. It’s killing me on the inside to know what she called me for. It was so strange for her to call me after all this time, out of blue. I wish so bad that I would have talked to her.

I would have said sorry.
I’m afraid to talk to her family.
I’m afraid to say goodbye.

Questo è l’ultimo post che CHVNX scrive dopo che è venuto a conoscenza dell’incidente in cui è morta la sua ex ragazza. Qualche giorno fa scrive ancora di passare il tempo cercando di tenersi impegnato in qualunque cosa pur di non pensare, di capire fino in fondo solo adesso cosa significa il detto “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone“.

Non so chi sia questo ragazzo, da dove venga, quanti anni abbia. Ma leggere il suo tumblr mi ha fatto venire i brividi. Troppe volte si rimanda, troppe cose non dette, troppi blocchi da superare. L’illusione di essere eterni, di avere sempre un poi, è il peggiore inganno in cui possiamo cadere. E la maggior parte delle volte l’inganno viene svelato quando è troppo tardi.